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OINTMENT. It’s topical. May 7, 2011

Posted by Danjamin S. Meow in : OINTMENT , trackback

Until he released his Hawa’ii birth certificate there was a significant group of “birthers” who still doubted that Obama was born in the U.S., despite the fact that you’d think the White House would be slightly more stringent than the golden arches in its background checks…
Donald Trump is still not convinced that there’s no box that you can just falsely tick when you run for office that indicates you were born in the U.S. and the rest of Congress will just take your word for it.

Our other biggest news items this week also rhymes with ‘Obama’*: The Royal Wedding.
You know, that thing where a girl who’d always dreamt of wearing a McQueen and becoming one got half of her wish when she married Prince William. The following is a stock image doctored to incorporate both of Kate Middleton’s dreams, which were realised shortly after watching Alexander McQueen win British Designer of the Year and The Great Escape back to back :

(*: if you’re dyslexic.)

Osama bin Laden, of World’s Biggest Hide and Seek Game Ever fame, was found after ten years, killed and buried at sea. Which just leaves Carmen Sandiego at large after 20. We’d give her a medal, but she can’t be found.

A man airquotes-accidentally-endquote ran over some ducks in a Hummer. And got busted for it. Then got some hate mail. Then his attorney got some hate mail. The only thing remaining to do is to send some badly-spelled hate mail with no grammar to the journalist who covered the story sympathetically:

David Thorne, a less than 50 year old graphic designer with at least one website has made the New York Times bestseller list this week. This proves the long-held belief of many on the Internet that everyone only hates unfunny trolls. After showing the Internet that it’s his playground, Thorne intends to make the whole world is his bridge, and teach seminars on responding to badly-written emails leaving their senders open to abuse.

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